Sunday, December 31, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 399

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I was sick all over it.

9. Talk about a revolution.

8. It's a cream bun, that's all.

7. I'm fed up of diets, I'm just going to eat all the way through to March.

6. No-one in the household even likes mince pies, but we've got them for some reason.

5. We don't buy each other anything, and it's such a relief.

4. I'm off now until the 15th of January, I'm going to take an evening class.

3. The Christmas party ended so badly he has had to leave.

2. They've got to get a new manager before the place becomes bankrupt.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They've even bought a helicopter, but I don't know where they keep it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, December 29, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 398

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I must have been dreaming.

9. He's really not interested in any work of any kind if he can avoid it.

8. It was when there were letters being sent back and forth.

7. Iceland have them all in one set, they don't taste great, but you can't argue on the price.

6. I fell asleep straight after I put it in the oven, I don't know what happened after that.

5. She didn't get the role and got all emotional, as you'd aspect.

4. I'm not letting him get a phone, it'll make him antisocial.

3. Mostly it's just decorative, you can't eat it, I think.

2. I'm going to defrost it under the hedge in a bucket.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She doesn't really love him, but she's not worked that out yet.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 397

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I've always liked blue in that pattern.

9.  Everything's been bought apart from a present for myself, that I always do.

8. I put a gin in my flask and no-one found out.

7. It felt so naked, for all the good things about it.

6. Trust is the most important aspect of it all.

5. It'll rain and then it'll freeze and it'll be a deathtrap.

4. The shift finishes at 2, but Jason was there until 4 as he couldn't find his locker.

3. I forgot the cheese, what am I going to put on the jacket potatoes?

2. They agreed to go for a drink, I don't know who was less enthusiastic, hr or him.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's a call centre in hell apparently and I'm working in it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, December 22, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 396

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's all bought, but I don't like any of it if I'm honest.

9. The Post Office was full of my ex's family.

8. What a nice looking lady she is.

7. The bright orange one that looks like a Quality Street.

6. I opened the door to find a rat on the doorstep.

5. Jason will go to the pub and the beast will return.

4. He had wellies on and it was 25 degrees.

3. I better see what disastrous set of biscuits you've bought.

2. I don't like like her, only a bit.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Don't send my love to them.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 395

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's a Snapchat situation truly.

9. I don't need you to explain everything to me you know.

8. You are so mundane.

7. All he does it gossip.

6. I was laughing so hard at her saying the wrong thing and getting dumped.

5. She didn't do much work when she was at work, so it's not much of a loss.

4. £25 that's all I've got till Thursday.

3. It was covered in salt and had to be washed off first.

2. Plenty of bottles of wine, but no opener, we started to groan and I swear I heard a cry.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The telephone was not invented for you to take selfies, it was invented for me to take selfies.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last) Week ; 394

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It happened to six people I've worked with and it took years for something to be done.

9. Starting is much easier than finishing.

8. Write it off, we all have.

7. Had tinsel all over the garage.

6. There wasn't enough food, so we ran to Tesco and filled three trolleys.

5. Instagram isn't the answer to everything.

4. You're working it well.

3. I'm not going to give you her name, she doesn't like you.

2. Katie just kept on drinking and it's obvious she has a problem.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's such a strong view to have I just stopped talking to her, full stop.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, December 15, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last) Week ; 393

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I've bought it all, but I don't know what it actually does.

9. There's no fun in there, believe me.

8. He expected me to be excited, but I wasn't and I still am not.

7. It's sheer, which makes keeping warm in the frost quite tough.

6. I punched him out, then he weren't laughing.

5. No, she got on the other bus, she can't stand to look at me.

4. It's so dull I fell asleep and woke up when they'd all died.

3. At some stage I'll look up and not know where I am.

2. A watch that doesn't even tell the time, a revolution.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. They've already had their party, only two went, they took all the food home.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last, Last, Last) Week ; 392

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Going is sort of worse than not going.

9. Stupidest person imaginable.

8. All the presents are done.

7. I've decided to turn on them as a surprise.

6. Nothing has been produced at all.

5. Nando's apparently, chicken and something.

4. Stuck there for 5 hours with nothing interesting to Snapchat.

3. It had cake all over it, so I just did my coat up and carried on.

2. The fundamental problem is, no data left.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Please keep it a secret amongst just us here.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 391

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I won't know until January.

9. I don't want to sit with other people.

8. It makes you look like a pixie.

7. That one I can answer without lying or making anything up.

6. Christmas can be cancelled as far as I'm concerned.

5. Halloween is not from America, people just don't read history.

4. She should be careful not to break her hip.

3. Sarah thought she was being so smart and quite frankly she wasn't at all.

2. Very entertaining, I laughed at all the wrong moments.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Why don't you and your sister put down your weapons, I mean your phones.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, November 05, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 390

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'm going to let it run to it's conclusion.

9. I protect you from harm, I sopped you buying that dress.

8. Brave enough for the whole town, but not going to actually do anything.

7. So much chocolate in the shops already.

6. He was ringing to change his phone plan and got through to a chatline.

5. A big guy, with shoulders like a coffee table.

4. Socks, that's the trend for winter.

3. We bought the fireworks already, storing them under the oven.

2. It's so badly designed, every time I turn off the light I set off the burglar alarm.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Irresistible to women everywhere, including my wife.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, November 03, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 389

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I haven't seen what I can't talk about.

9. People think he's hot, I think he's dead boring.

8. It's just a backpack, no need to get like that.

7. Experts think it's worth over £200.

6. What's wrong with them, why wear white?

5. I owe him money and he doesn't take cards.

4. I never sit there, I can't get out if someone sits next to me.

3. Subway always has that strange smell, I don't go in there any more.

2. The points added up, but I still missed the level and so I lose them all now.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I was so disappointed I nearly woke up.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 388

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I've really been holding out for it, but to no hope, really.

9. I'm on Sylvia's side in this, she deserves someone who just acknowledges her.

8. She's done all her shopping up until the Spring.

7. They drank a lot, and he really hates it, but he always does it.

6. They're perfect together, but they need to know where their limits are.

5. I never really thought about him when I was away, bad isn't it.

4. God gets talked about all the time, I'm sure he's bored of it.

3. No I got fish, which hardly anyone in our street seems to buy.

2. It'll run mostly empty all day, but they'll never give the route up.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. That one's unresponsive, you'll have to try further south, down here.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Excited Council in the Market for a Cheap & Quick Erection

A plan for a 15 storey block of flats with no parking in a town centre would get a careful objective look you'd think.


Not in Swindon. Not when the point of having a planning system seems now to be pointless, with councillors and officers now in agreement, as it seems anything goes. That goes for a cheap and quick erection, especially if the threat of having to pay costs after it's in the other's favour.

Councillors positively salivated at the council meeting that approved it, as if it's the most exciting event since the last round of councillors pay increases or budget cuts.

The best of the show was the parish council for the area, highlighting the pokey nature of the size of the flats in the block, along with the shadow the building will cast on it's neighbours across Commercial Road, the lack of any car parking and the the look of the building.

From an official SBC point of view, there's no point having any 'Affordable Housing' designated in the block as it's not likely it's what council tenants need and want (you want to go down to page 62 in the link).

Makes you think if the council don't reckon they could rent out the flats, what hope the private sector?

No mention was made about the block going against the Swindon Town Centre Masterplan that any development should "complement the scale and massing of the surrounding town centre buildings" (page 109 if you can find a copy). Things have certainly changed since the council strongly objected and rejected plans before based on the appearance of the building.

Stan 'your local, but not quite' man got very excited and compared it to the David Murray John.

Stan really should know better than to compare a block of flats designed in a couple of months to a vast town centre rebuilding plan that was decades in the planning and building.

The irony seemed to be lost on all the councillors that the view of the town centre's landmark, the DMJ from Deacon Street , will now be lost when the 15 storey erection goes up in front of it.

One word of warning that the council seems to have missed comes from the owner of Signal Point at the railway station. Network Rail have been blocking that being turned into flats as it will make it more difficult to demolish and redevelop later. Is the council boxing itself into a corner with approving all the office to flats conversions in the town centre (two in nearby Farnsby Street in just the last year) making demolition far more difficult if something better comes along?

I'm not sure most councillors are that bothered, by that time they'll all be staring longingly, shivering in their macs at the vast cheap erection surrounded by illegally-parked cars, in the shadowy wind tunnel of Commercial Road with empty restaurant units.

One cheap and quick erection, coming soon!

Sunday, October 08, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 387

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I'll haunt ya.

9. There's only about 10% of people who give a toss.

8. It's still being resurfaced and will be finished when I'm dead I believe.

7. Brilliantly he didn't notice when his pants were undone.

6. Something else, about couscous, but it wasn't clear.

5. A photo a day of you eating breakfast, that's what I'd like to see.

4. I was knocking them back and Snapchatting her.

3. Of course I didn't go on the training course, I know how to open doors.

2. Perspective is a wonderful thing when you've quit your awful job.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She got attacked by a load of hashtags.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 386

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He suffers in silence, apart from when he talks about it.

9. Sorry, that's all the money I have in the world.

8. It turns left, then two rights and straight over the junction.

7. Just calm down and keep it to yourself, I don't want those lot sat up front to know.

6. It's a shocking injury when you consider I can still move it.

5. They're going to sell it all off to the highest bidder, not that there'l be much interest.

4. Keep all that evidence in the bag and we'll get it out when we get there.

3. Steve said he'd tell me what happened in the meeting when I go for lunch with him next week.

2. Well I can afford taxis each day, it doesn't mean that I should be taking then just because I can.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It was not long after I'd been married for the second time around.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 385

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The hours really are slipping by.

9. If it depends on Des then we're all going to be in big trouble.

8. I could barely hear it, it was that low.

7. Did you see that in that window, she had just a hat on.

6. There was a scream that sounded like he was being tickled.

5. Me leaving is for the best when it's all said and done.

4. It got thrown up and over and right towards the front door.

3. There was a small guitar left in the room and the next day someone had taken it.

2. Tightened so tight I couldn't feel a thing below my neck.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's delayed for another few weeks, they didn't realise how old the road is, could have looked on an old map, twats.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 384

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Where am I?

9. It goes left, so you'll have to get out and walk along the verge, good thing you're not fat.

8. It was all over Instagram, hashtags more than your life's worth.

7. Keep some perspective and just chill.

6. I'm not going out for a weekend yet, I need to get myself together.

5. He looked like he was going to burst into tears and ask for his mummy.

4. I was saving that last nugget for tomorrow too.

3. You can complain as many times as you like, but I'm not going to give it to you.

2. Do you reckon they walk around with their eyes shut, just bumping into things, like local councillors?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It should be okay, Akers Way is due to reopen soon, thank god.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Jack of all Dales

As well as being a Borough Councillor, the Chair of the Communities and Place Overview and Scrutiny Committee, Dale Heenan is also chairman of his own Library Trust.

Don't forget what happens to councillors who eventually get hold of 'their' library, they end up standing in the rain moaning about litter that they use to be responsible for.

Monday, September 11, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 383

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. No fish, no pinot.

9. He keeps coming home smelling of perfume that's not his own.

8. It was clattering all night, I nearly complained.

7. She couldn't get any in her size, so she's sent them back with last year's on.

6. There's no point in eating it if it's only a little bit warm.

5. It was so windy my gazebo started to lean.

4. It's something to do with gravity, but I don't understand it.

3. Older but not necessarily better when you consider how out of date it is.

2. I don't understand what my identity is.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Leona Lewis did alright. Alright, she's done more than alright!

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, September 03, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 382

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's not faithful at all, it's just wrong.

9. As of today, I don't care at all.

8. If I can get my head around what he said, then maybe I can consider changing his mind.

7. Sensational does not quite cover it.

6. There's money behind it, so I'm hoping to get cut into it.

5. I think I need a rest, that's all.

4. Life is too short unless there's something you're not telling me.

3. Steve refused to mention her name and when I did, his face turned to stone.

2. It started off fine, then got really loud and by the end I was feeling sick.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I predict all of this, me and you, will be gone by Christmas.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, August 25, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 381

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Their speed to weight ratio is something else.

9. It got covered in mud, so I had to chuck it out and replace it with a wooden pole.

8. There's going to be some announcement made to regulars and it's not going to be good.

7. Flames on it make it look like it's going faster, and on fire.

6. She got bought lollipops, it was rather sweet.

5. Being there is not the same as it was when he was alive.

4. Katy Perry is not someone I would associate with.

3. They're going to cut our department, I can't see councillors wiping people's arses, but that's the only ones that's going to be left soon to do.

2. I started at 6 and I'm on till 4, it's all overtime.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The Snapchat is the same, but with an 'l' and a 'g'.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 380

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. His name is Jasper, and no, he's not a dog.

9. It got lost out the window as we cam onto the dual carriageway.

8. Keep going until you reach just before the end, then you can do a turn around.

7. But they'd used up all the coffee, so there was this song and dance for the whole of the day.

6. But I only brought a cheese sandwich, I thought we were going on somewhere.

5. Failing that, I'll throw myself on his mercy and hope he hasn't see that week's figures.

4. It just seems to be aggression for aggression's sake.

3. That's always a single decker, otherwise it'd be interesting when it got to the bridge.

2. I always thought I could lose part of my left ear and it would make very little difference.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Just because you can make them foot long, it doesn't mean they're a good idea.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

I'm not one to gossip, but I just did

People have been spitting out drinks, choking on food and making faces of many and varied after Justin 'PR Campaign' Tomlinson put the phrase 'I don't like to be overtly political in my weekly column' in his Adver column.

HA!

If there's one thing Tomlinson does well, it's making everything overtly political.

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 379

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. But you can't park it because you'll just get the doors smashed to pieces.

9. A foot long, I've never needed such size.

8. You're very posh for someone who lives in a flat.

7. I didn't read that post, there was a video of a giraffe instead that I got dragged into.

6. It's all mind games and he knows exactly what he's doing.

5. The diet is only half the story.

4. It comes and goes, but mainly goes.

3. Tell me about Dylan, does he really think he's going to win the match?

2. I don't know the answer, but I think it's about your attitude towards self.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He ran across two lanes of traffic, pressed the open button and ran off giggling like a three year old, sod.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Saturday, August 05, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 378

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I've had quite enough of your negative attitude.

9. Told you before, you take a size bigger than that.

8. She kept saying how amazing he was, even after he left her.

7. The job is 45 hours a week and is a real easy one.

6. But I want to upgrade without paying any more since they're already ripping me off.

5. They've planned to do nothing during the holidays, which I think is the way to go.

4. Technically I was right and he just can't stand it, I do keep lording it over him.

3. No, it's all one way, you can't go down there, well you'll get laughed at if nothing else.

2. Spain they went to, her kids got burnt, she didn't care.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm convinced that flat is haunted, I've had my pants thrown around the room before.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 377

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I heard a whistling noise and thought it was the dog.

9. They're quite little people aren't they?

8. She was dressed all in blue, but with the pink showing through like a lighthouse.

7. It was going off until I passed and broke it off the wall.

6. There's no hatch there, it's just what the ground looks like.

5. More people have walked on the surface of Mars than have been in the bedroom.

4. Linda likes him, but only if he promised never to do what he did with his feet again.

3. It says here that you just push to open, it doesn't mean you should ever do it.

2. I was up in town earlier because otherwise all the good quality bread is gone.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I think I'd look good as a boxer, I wouldn't be any good at the actual boxing, but I'd look the part.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 376

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. The envelope, Rene.

9. Are you okay to pick us up and take us to Waitrose?

8. On occasion my feet would turn off.

7. Oh just the usual scrapes and scars.

6. Do you know how to play the recorder? I've ben playing the recorder for years now, I only know how to play beeeeeeeee.

5. At least you know your blood has been locally sourced.

4. No, we're going straight through to Abbey Meads, oh thank goodness.

3. This is like a really bad 80s band.

2. I presumed you were going to check before meeting me?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. If Pam's there with the red volvo, then leave it under the barbecue lid.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Do Android MP PR Bots Dream of Electric Cars?

As predicted, the decision by BMW to produce an electric version of the mini was instantly seized upon by one Swindon politician as evidence that a 'hard Brexit' is the best option.

Interesting that Tomlinson has been silent on the BMW strike.

Interesting too that Tomlinson has also been silent on the fall in UK car sales by 13.7%, the third fall in a row.

Maybe he needs charging up.

Sunday, July 09, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 375

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. That was totally not set up.

9. Let's get serious for a moment.

8. I'm going to pretend you're not as stupid as you make out.

7. Simon says I'm only to listen to him.

6. It gets a look behind the scenes and oh are there some revelations.

5. They says it's not tradition, but I've seen it done at least twice now.

4. But they don't subscribe yet, so why am I bothering?

3. No, they give change now, look, he's offering you change.

2. It was several thousand pounds, so no, I'm not going to be buying a second one.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It goes really chunky when you add on the attachments and my guilt.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Monday, July 03, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 374

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You'll never be able to solve it.

9. I'm sorry, but that's massively irresponsible.

8. They've built this structure round it so they can change the windows.

7. Kate kept on complaining till I gave in and said no.

6. It was changed up the road, over the fence and across the roof.

5. But if I'm late again they'll never let me come back.

4. It came covered in ice-cream and what looked like wood shavings.

3. There's about 5000 less than they were last year when we started counting.

2. But with mushrooms you don't get that awful smell.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Has anyone told her that she might have won, but she really lost?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Swindon Bus War Round 4 : 3 is not the Magic Number

Too many buses running around with fresh air on board has seen Stagecoach blink on the number 3/number 5 near identical route.

Stagecoach will stop the number 3 from 12th August, stating it started well, but once Thamesdown started their near carbon copy number 5, passenger numbers fell away.


This skirmish benefit mostly the residents of Park North, with a hyper frequency of buses from two operators to choose from. In a welcome comment, the Stagecoach MD Rupert Cox noted the large number of buses running round having a "negative impact on their communities".

Top marks to Stagecoach for the comments, conceding early and giving it a go.

Now, from one front in the Swindon bus war to another, that Battle for Bassett, how goes things at the front Rupert and Andrew?

Monday, June 26, 2017

D is for Heenan's Bad Spell at Swinon



Councillor Dale Heenan (he of the council tax debacle) has asked residents (with only a few days to the deadline, so sounds more like a tick-box engagement exercise) what they 'want to see changed or improved'.

Swindoncentric suggests Mr Heenan maybe goes for English lessons, judging by the very sloppy letter of objection he's tweeted regarding a planning application he feels strong about.

In the letter, he suggests that residents write their own letter, as it carries more weight.

True, especially since it appears he can't even spell 'Swindon' in the opening line of his.

Never mind, I'm sure putting him in charge of two Swindon Libraries will go swimmingly. Is the order for new signs in yet? Better check the spelling first.

It's S-w-i-n-d-o-n

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 373

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They were sat there all day drinking and you can guess the very hands-on response.

9. He let go of the wall, pushed off, then fell into a manhole.

8. I saw him stand up and talk to that crowd, he was very good and different.

7. But babe, remember, not everyone think's you're as good looking as I do.

6. He told her she looked fat, then laughed, and she's still with the twat.

5. It was on Snapchat but I'm losing patience to keep using it.

4. Does your phone always loose signal on Wednesdays?

3. It was full of kids, I thought the S Club Juniors had walked in.

2. It's just corn, it's not going to attack you.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Keep it to yourself, I don't want everyone to know what I've caught.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, June 23, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 372

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Tell Mummy all the details of the funny man.

9. I heard the bone crack.

8. It's got zero calories in it, which is good as it's basically useless.

7. It exploded and she got plastic all over the kitchen.

6. Experts from Bristol are working on it.

5. I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were going to be totally freaked out.

4. You know, I've never liked that route with the narrow left turn.

3. We all know who he's been carrying on with.

2. I'll never win any awards for world's best dad.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You'll always be ready for getting divorced in a hurry.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 371

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She's called Wendy, not exactly confidence-inspiring.

9. If you're not dressed in 15 minutes then there's no point.

8. Don't put a sauce on it, otherwise it turns it all gloopy.

7. They kept on going on at her about getting a pay rise, but that's been years ago.

6. The temporary headteacher that replaced the one that was fiddling the money.

5. A lot has been put into the report, but we all know it's flawed.

4. She has to resign now.

3. Boris better just be sent away to a desert island for a few decades.

2. She voted Labour, she's never voted for them in her life.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. It's all about the exit poll.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 370

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. No, it went all yellow, then it fell off.

9. No, Snapchat is where I'm at like all the time.

8. The wrath of Clive is what we'll call it.

7. There were no shoes left, so I ended up going in my socks and pretending I was being ironic.

6. Just because she turns up to your party it doesn't mean she should have been allowed to come.

5. They're every 5 minutes, it's ridiculous, most are empty, but more work for us.

4. A bucket got left out the window which the cat jumped on and got stuck in.

3. We had cod, which isn't my favourite, but certainly isn't my worst.

2. Outrageous to think he got a promotion having been at home for 7 months.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Lunch should be a fun affair, not a shrink-wrapped torrid hell.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.


Friday, June 09, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 369

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Keeping my mind open to all possibilities that may crop up in the finance department.

9. I'm pleased to meet you after wearing your uniform.

8. It's finished, it's going to close and they've only told us three.

7. The top only fits into my left arm, which makes wearing it out a toughie.

6. There was the stupidest hashtag I've ever seen in the history of the world.

5. Black coffee is the strong thing I can ever smell, forget petrol fumes.

4. Believing what you believe isn't just backwards, it's shortly to become illegal.

3. The recipe asked for sugar so I put in a whole packet of sugar substitute pellets.

2. Sharing my crisps, no, I don't think so.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Just cos he dealt a bit the police won't leave him alone.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, June 07, 2017

Swindon Election - Lib Dems Chase Ambulance in Swindon!

If the Lib Dems learn anything from their Swindon campaign this election, it's get someone professional to do your leaflets.

And don't just photograph each candidate in front of the same ambulance at the Orbital in separate photos. At least Liz Webster's North Swindon leaflet doesn't feature bits of ambulance sticking out of her torso as her South Swindon colleague's does.







Thursday, June 01, 2017

Swindon Election - Stan 'Local' Lassoed Man's Your Photoshop Fail Candidate

It seems Swindon's Liberal Democratgs Liberal Democrats aren't spending their money on their leaflets, as the Adver's Chris Humphrey's has found.


Plus, as seen here, the same leaflet for Stan (you remember him from being your 'Local', but not quite  Eastcott councillor) Pjaka Pajak shows he's only been photographed once, with the same photo of him in front of an ambulance, that's then been badly photoshopped to show him with bits of emergency vehicles sticking out his torso.

Someone needs to ring for help, plus his bad hair cut needs some trained professional assistance.





Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Swindon Election - Tomlinson's Favourite Train 'The Flipping Flopsman'

For an MP of a railway town, Justin Tomlinson's attitude towards railways doesn't seem to know if it's coming or going.

Tomlinson talked in August 2014 of working hard to limit annual ticket price rises (despite it being government who control the rises), but has voted four times to not controlling public transport ticket prices.

He also appears to have remained silent on pleas from bus companies for help on the Bus Service Operators Grant.

He also sees fit to claim that Labour did not invest money in the railways. Once again, Tomlinson has not read his recent history, that it was Labour who announced the Great Western Main Line electrification, but that's not stopped him claiming the investment for himself and the Conservatives Theresa May party on every single one of his election leaflets.

Stand back from the platform edge, it's the 'Flipping Flopsman' storming through.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 368

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I suspect it will all blow over when she confronts him.

9. It was all dark when I woke up to find him moving around.

8. Claire doesn't strike me as the drinking type.

7. It's not vegan, look it's got extracts of nylon in it.

6. I don't care what gets said, I know who to vote for if I had to decide.

5. There's more reason to suspect he's been having fun behind her back.

4. There aren't any toilets nearby any more.

3. The Wetherspoons chain has much to answer for.

2. It scans it now, like some checkout ticket checking machine.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. He sneeze right in my face, it put me right off what we were doing.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

1. Standing on top of stuff, that's my main thing at the moment.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Swindon Bus War Round 3 : The 2nd Battle for Bassett

Someone did blink first, it turns out to have been Stagecoach, but not in the way expected.

They've increased the frequency of their 55 service to every 10 minutes Monday - Saturday and up to 15 minutes on Sundays.

A small but welcome move will see westbound services serve Lydiard Fields in weekday morning peak times.

There will now be 9 buses an hour in each direction when the 55 is combined with Thamesdown's R1 route, and a hyper 5 minute frequency at some parts of each hour.

As robust a bus route as Swindon to Wootton Bassett is, unless there is fundamental modal shift on the corridor, the capacity will not come close to break-even on those frequencies.

Meanwhile, if you want a personal taxi at a reasonable price with wi-fi to Bassett, you're quids in.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Swindon Election : Swindon Tories Leafleted during Suspension

Swindoncentric received reports of Tory leaflets being dropped through doors on Thursday, before general election campaigning was due to restart this morning.

Not really appropriate.

Monday, May 22, 2017

Swindon Election : Town Tories Silent on Honda Accord for Brexit

'Strong and stable' may be Theresa's mantra, but for Swindon's incumbent MPs 'silent and still' would suit on the Honda Brexit elephant in the room.

The government has promised Sunderland's Nissan something (but has not admitted it), no doubt officials from Honda UK have been keen to get similar treatment, but nothing has been revealed in public.

But never mind our MPs since June last year, who have gone into the election campaign without a word about the 3,500 workforce's future outside the EU, or those many thousands locally in the supply chain for the South Marston plant that will depend on whatever deal is eventually struck on exiting the EU.

The industrial backbone (along with at least 3,500 voters) of Swindon deserves better treatment from it's local incumbent Tory candidates.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 367

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There's so much product placement.

9. He's got a button for that on his desk.

8. It got so dark I had to feel my way to the door when he rang.

7. I'm talking about decorating and why are you mentioning chicken?

6. They're going to be brightly coloured and as fast as anything.

5. Every time I read something by him it's got a hectoring tone.

4. There's a Chinese supermarket now.

3. The 17 is changing numbers, I think it's going higher, or possibly lower.

2. He's got a coach now, who's meant to help him with other people's anger.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. There's breadsticks, but I'm not in the mood for anything of that length now.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

1. Standing on top of stuff, that's my main thing at the moment.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 366

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It's like a business transaction these days.

9. There's no excuse for not knowing what you should be doing.

8. It's an alien concept to many.

7. One of his fantasies is really quite boring.

6. What are you going to do? Invade Ramleaze?

5. Mary has many objections to those trousers.

4. That's a bit stark don't you think?

3. It's not pink, it's a jolly red.

2. Donald Trump should try appearing less nutty on odd occasions.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I'm basically a one-man-band at this point.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

1. Standing on top of stuff, that's my main thing at the moment.

Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Out-of-Town Tomlinson Plays Sim City, Badly

Justin Tomlinson's attitude to his own party's council-owned Forward Swindon seems tied to political opportunities as they come along.

He recently slagged off Forward Swindon for 'stubbornness' with regard to the old carriage works on London Street and why they hadn't just let developers get their hands on them like the buildings north of the railway that he toured with a fellow minister on a visit.

Tomlinson's argument is as shallow as his depth of knowledge on his own town's history, and, oddly, the way government processes work. The reason the Historic England offices (along with the Outlet, Steam, the Test Chain flats development and the Bottelino's restaurant) are as high quality developments as they are is because all the buildings were hurriedly listed when it became clear the developers of the works site wanted to pull down, or heavily alter, most of what was there. As a result of the listings, the developers of the works have had to meet high levels of sympathetic development.

Private developers don't retain nice old fittings just because they're nice, but because they legally have to if the building is given a Grade Listing.

He also suggests that developers have been chomping at the bit to get their hands on the old carriage works buildings, hardly, they've been mostly empty for over 10 years!

Tomlinson isn't adverse to riding on the coat tails of Forward Swindon and others when there's publicity for the asking, such as when TNT praised the organisation's help in getting them to South Marston.

It says much that Tomlinson's office is now in a brand new glass carbuncle at the Orbital and not in one of the empty 1980s/1990s units at one of the many business parks across North Swindon.

Tomlinson has remained quiet on the Swindon Gateway development that was criticised by many of his own residents, labelled 'bland' and 'uninspiring architecturally' by a Swindon Borough Council planning officer (listed under 'Urban Design Comments - 26-05-16'), officially objected to by the owners of Regent Circus and The Parade and was part of an intense lobbying (listed under numerous 'objection comments') campaign against it from the inSwindon BID organisation. Plus according to Forward Swindon, the development rides roughshod (listed under 'Email from Forward Swindon Re Kimmerfields') over rules for available land for the same development closer to the town centre.

So is he on the side of unrestricted privately-led development, or partnership working between Forward Swindon and developers? It must depend on the level of publicity available.


Friday, May 05, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 365

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. May, no, it's June, isn't it?

9. What I'll be seeing will be different to what you see.

8. I was going to go round for dinner, but she was serving peas.

7. You've had way too much, I'm making a cup of tea for you when we get in.

6. No, it only goes out of town, there's no one's back today.

5. The police came round the corner and instantly we all felt guilty, but we actually were guilty.

4. Where did I put my fags? In your pocket?

3. He just hangs around in town, trying to exude coolness.

2. What does she see in him, I mean, he doesn't even claim JSA.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. You know Swindon's on the up when there's couscous spilt on the bus floor.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

1. Standing on top of stuff, that's my main thing at the moment.

Swindon Elections : Welcome to your Rotten Parish

The hopes of the new Swindon parishes being a haven from traditional party politics were dashed, as the usual battles were fought last night.

The only things to note :

- The uncontesting of many wards by the Tories, are they afraid of Labour in their traditional strongholds?

- The number of independents that ran and won.

- The level of 'gotta get a double seat' by candidates who now have the bizarre, but self-inflicted situation of representing the same ward as a local Borough councillor and now as a Parish councillor, surely a conflict of interest and pointless ultimately. Are they going to disagree with themselves?

- The return of the previously politically dead former local Borough councillors that were persuaded by HQ to return as a parish councillor as they can do it while they sleep the sleep of the undead.

- The very unwelcome return of the disgraced former Mayor.

- The family affair of many candidates, often in the same seats, husbands and wives, mothers and sons, partners, you can imagine it must be a riot in those households of an evening.

So parishing has done exactly what people feared, created an entirely unwanted and unnecessary new layer of administration, with, mostly, the same people in charge of the biggest parts of the town (bar the independents) and a lack of imagination, especially from the Tories, with the wheeling out of undead former councillors to fill the gaps.

Onto the general.

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Swindon Elections : The Truth, In Shadow Parish Form

When is a a Tory election leaflet not a Tory election leaflet?


When it's accurate and honest!

No change with Swindon's Tories and their election leaflets, even for the imposed and unwanted parish council elections tomorrow it seems.

The leaflet for the new West Swindon Parish is one simple case in point. It makes two claims that are blindingly wrong on a list of achievements the shadow parish has already completed.

Claim number 1 :

- Contributed 16 more hours for the West Swindon library. 

Misleading, as the library, was, until the start of April, open 50 hours a week, which the Tory Borough Council (which includes all the shadow parish councillors as they are all Borough councillors too) cut to 15 hours a week and the West Swindon Parish chose to divert money from the closing of toilets at West Swindon District Centre to pay for an additional 16 hours, bringing it down to 31 hours. So an accurate achievement would have been :

- Cut library hours from 50 to 31 (we're only paying for 16) and cut West Swindon's only public toilets.

Claim number 2 :

- Created a local services hub by using the library for the Parish Council office. 

This is wrong, there is no parish council office in West Swindon Library.

So one misleading claim and one untrue. What other hideous gems are there out there?

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 364

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. People were there from all over.

9. You didn't clean the loo did you?

8. I suspect he's lying, but I just can't prove it.

7. I'm not putting him on the guest list.

6. Those pants were on offer, I can always return them after the weekend.

5. Keep all those in that bag and I'll put the knives in this one.

4. I've got vodka, alway helps me get over a Monday.

3. You've not thought it through if you think I'm going with you.

2. I'm not shamed, not at all, I know I'm in the right.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. What does she see in him, I mean, he doesn't even claim JSA.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Swindon Bus War Round 2 : The Battle for Bassett

Engines are being revved in the second round of Swindon's bus war, as a key route is set to be fought over.

Thamesdown Transport are to launch at the start of May a service in direct competition with Stagecoach in Swindon to Royal Wootton Bassett. R1 will run on a 15 minute frequency Monday to Saturday daytimes, hourly in the evenings and half hourly on Sundays. At some times during each weekday daytime hours, this will give Bassett a 5 minute frequency when combined with Stagecoach's 55 service.

There are clearly not enough passengers to demand this level of frequency across both operators, so it remains to be seen who'll blink first and thin out their timetable after a month or so.

The same saturating of routes and markets is happening with Thamesdown's other service changes on the 14th May, Cavendish Square will have the newly created number 5 from the severing of the current 13/14 running on a 7/8 minute frequency weekday daytimes, the rerouted 17/17A to serve Park South, plus the hat-trick of frequency with Stagecoach's number 3.

There are other welcomed minor changes, especially the 1/1A remaining on it's combined cross-town route to the GWH on evenings and Sundays.

Welcome changes in the second battle, and if you live in Swindon's Cavendish Square, you've never had it so good bus-wise!

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 363

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I've got 14 in my garage, complete with the boxes.

9. There's no context, on it's own, it's pretty amazing.

8. Big day for our business, shame it was the last.

7. Here we go, I'm ready for you.

6. You can't sit there, it's over the engine.

5. Hummus, not bloody likely with my skin.

4. It's not cheap though, you're paying for the supposed convenience of it.

3. What a mistake, why did I think it would work with him?

2. The market is only for maybe 12 different customers and 9 of them don't spend more than a tenner a time.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She'll never call an election, not until she's bought some fancy heels for it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 362

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. I've never watched it, I don't trust the presenter, she's too tall.

9. He's very handsome, which is as far as I'll go.

8. Terrence, what kind of a name is that?

7. Let's keep some perspective can we, I've been punching above my weight.

6. You've not got those jeggings on yet again?

5. It's like when you eat too many crisps and you regret it instantly.

4. There is a complaints process, you've just not followed it.

3. Claire is going to tell her story and when she does it's all going to be everywhere online.

2. If she's got anything to say, she can say it to me, right to my face.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. At what point did you think kissing him in front of his girlfriend was a good idea?

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Last (Last) Week ; 361

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. He's a right sort, not to be touched with the longest of barge polls my dear.

9. You don't have to rush into anything if you don't want to.

8. This music's crap, Gaga is so over.

7. Stacey can make milk turn vegan.

6. Here we go, there's the red car like he said.

5. I'm not going to pay to gallivant around just because you want to.

4. It'll go into town eventually, this town I hope.

3. There's no prizes for finishing first.

2. Plenty for me to get bothered about when I get in, the garden'll not have been done for a start.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I don't want to talk about it in public, but I can't marry him.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Routes 1, 2, 3, 4, Swindon declares a bus war

Clippies get your small change holstered, the 'alight' bell has been sounded in the first round of the Swindon bus war.


The bloodless sale of Thamesdown Transport to the Go-Ahead group has shaken things up in very short order.

Best of all for passengers are more routes as the two main companies in Swindon are now backed by two of the UK's biggest bus companies, Scottish-owned Stagecoach and Newcastle-owned Go-Ahead.

The first shot has come from Stagecoach in Swindon, with it's new route number 3, which now directly competes with Thamesdown's numbers 13/14 from Asda Walmart, to the town centre and as far as Walcot. 

The route then serves Walcot East, Park North, then provides a link to Park South (always the poor-relation in bus provision of the two areas of Parks), then terminates at the Great Western Hospital.

Good on Stagecoach for giving Thamesdown a little heat. In the grand scheme of things, it makes commercial sense, the 13/14 are easily the most heavily loaded cross-town routes (along with the 17) and at times on weekdays can be overloaded. For passengers it will provide more services, ease congestion, especially between the town centre and New College, and possibly improve timekeeping to the 13/14.

Plus the revenue abstraction from Thamesdown will probably only be marginal, though in a clever trick, the 3 shares the same bus stop at Fleming Way as Thamesdown's 13/14, making easy passenger poaching. Swindon Centric suspects the biggest improvement appreciated by passengers will be the new direct routes available, especially between Park North and Park South, the hospital, and the Orbital. 

So, 1-0 to Stagecoach, but Thamesdown have a host of new routes planned for May, more on those, and a possible levelling of the score, in a few stops time.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Culture Deserts

Swindon's new museum and art gallery is now dead in the water.


The action of one petition (which was misguided at it's very basic level, just poking at one hole as an example, they never once said where the money would come from to purchase the London Street carriagework buildings from Network Rail) has caused the main financial backer to leave.

Robert Hiscox takes with him his project man, his connections and most importantly of all, his money. The reason, the perceived negative reception locally to the Wyvern car park site, as opposed to the London Street site.

While the petition received coverage, at 700 signatories, it really didn't amount to much, simply the usual Mechanics Trust/Civic Voice loud shouting and easy Adver headlines but with scant detail at all behind it. The rest of Swindon, population 209,156, didn't really have their voices heard. There was no groundswell of opinion either way for or against the project, or strong views on the proposed site. This shows a lack of basic lack of public engagement on the part of the museum, Swindon Borough Council, the museum trust and most notably, Robert Hiscox himself. You can line up as many big name backers as you like, but if you've not spoken to the people who are to have the place on their doorstep, then you really are approaching it arse-backwards. Mr Hiscox's comments when interviewed about being able to get good quality coffee in Swindon struck a strange and patronising tone.

The big money donation has gone, as has the influence, the very highly-qualified Mr Van Dekker and the momentum. SBC were very lucky that the energy needed to push the project was being provided by Robert Hiscox and the trust, this will not transfer to SBC. The council have no money any more and no staff to spend time pushing this project.

This best hope is that another influential individual or group fills the shoes, but that's a big ask.

If the vacuum is filled by the Mechanics' Trust, who still seem to operate under the misapprehension they represent the will of all Swindon people (those people being about 7 individuals and probably a dog), then I look forward to seeing them try to buy enough scratchcards to raise the money.

Congratulations to the petition-raiser, the 700 people who signed it and the Mechanics' Trust, Swindon now has no chance of a museum and art gallery for at least a decade. The project may not have been perfect, but it was the only one there was.

Swindon Centric hopes you're proud of yourselves. 


Sunday, April 02, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 360

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Don't be such a cheeky cow.

9. He went to KFC even though I explicitly told him not to.

8. They Snapchatted it without another breath, totally, absolutely mortified.

7. They're closing it next week and turning it into a carpark for finance.

6. Over that period I had my head in the sand.

5. That view is possibly the best in town bar none.

4. There were huge bits all over the road, I couldn't miss them.

3. It's a wonder you didn't hurt more people when you were taking it so frequently.

2. More than you know I've enjoyed your company thoroughly.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Just don't forget to bring it with you.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 359

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can't expect me to like the idea just because it's the right one.

9. I just can't keep up with you.

8. That's fine, but have you thought about her feelings in all this?

7. It was a very low light, almost not there when you looked back.

6. I thought you were closed today when I saw the shutter halfway down.

5. Keep some perspective, just because she said no doesn't mean she'll always say no.

4. I thought it was Mars bars there was a shortage of.

3. Butter beans she was after, well I couldn't bloody well find them could I?

2. They'll have sold it off by next week.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. The parish is meant to take over running my local supermarket, they seem to be being handed everything else it wouldn't surprise me.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 358

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. You can apply for it online.

9. If it accidentally falls over, please catch it.

8. It's a mistake, that's all.

7. They've sold it, that's it really.

6. He's a survivor, not a victim.

5. Everyone was surprised.

4. Who knew she really, really fancied him

3. I'm amazed you'd never tried popcorn until last Thursday.

2. Bad things they may be, but they are fun.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I got a top in Urban Outfitters, we went to Wagamamas, Dunkin' Donuts and Elliot fell asleep on the way back and I gave him a wet willy.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last, Last) Week ; 357

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. She threw her feet right into it.

9. I can't take much more of this, I thought you'd sorted all of this underpants business out.

8. Let's keep it all private and not talk about it here.

7. Fish fingers is where I'm thinking.

6. He always doing impressions of people, not very well.

5. Snapchat him for god's sake.

4. I shall protest most strongly if it goes ahead.

3. They're going to start giving change again.

2. Keep it clean please.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I only shop their for my loo cleaner, everything else is far too cheap.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Omnibusshambles

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

As goes the Wichelstowe quality bus corridor plan.

The aims of the project already seem to largely exist. The buses in use by Thamesdown are the newer vehicles, fitted with Wi-Fi and information displays, with a highly-recognisable brand (despite the soft market research currently being undertaken by the new owners), with a high frequency of service.

The only aims not already in existence seem to be a quicker journey time, limited stops and traffic priority.

Over £3 million is allocated to speed up the number 11 from 22 minutes journey time to 10 minutes, as the original plan for Wichelstowe foresaw a rapid transit (posh name for fast bus) route.

Swindon Borough Council propose to achieve this by getting rid of pedestrian crossings in Old Town and diverting buses along Wood Street and diverting general traffic in other ways.

Firstly, the 22 minute journey time is from Waitrose and as anyone knows, no-one commutes from Waitrose into town. Secondly, the pedestrian crossings in Old Town are necessary. The footpaths on Devizes Road at the northern end are narrow enough currently that two people have trouble squeezing past each other, let alone if the crossing is removed. The shared space at Regent Circus does work well, but pedestrians only have to look one way on each crossing. Try removing the northern Devizes Road crossing and then attempt to cross over, looking both ways, with no traffic lights and a roadway surface that matches the footpath with a lorry pinning you to the wall of the buildings.  Thirdly, Swindon Centric can't imagine the Wood Street glitterati wanting such common things as omnibuses zooming along ferrying working class people to work.

Trust SBC to want to spend wonga without realising what they've already bought, already had installed, and already don't use. The bus gate, lights and junction on Wootton Bassett Road are currently only used for westbound buses, despite being built for townbound buses from Wichelstowe and has never been used.

Why to goodness does SBC not investigate running a bus from Wichelstowe via Redposts Drive and into town either via the unused bus infrastructure via Penzance Drive and the Outlet or east along Wootton Bassett Road and the former bus route of William Street? The journey time would be nearer the 10 minute mark via William Street than the expensive, strange and dangerous proposals through Old Town.

Thursday, March 09, 2017

The Mechanics of Trust

If the Mechanics' Trust got a pound for every column inch of coverage of their cause then the building in question would be gold-plated by now.

The latest grand plan from them deems that they want to take over the entirety of the Railway Village. The trust also want £15 - £20 million of Heritage Lottery Fund money to cover the cost of repairing the Mechanics', but they fail to see the wood for the trees.

There's no way the HLF will give two bids of money of such quantities to Swindon for two projects, the Mechanics' and the new museum and art gallery (regardless of whether it will be on the Wyvern car park site or if they get drunk and decide to go with the London Street carriage works site that the Mechanics' Trust are so certain on).

Swindon Borough Council and Forward Swindon already have a plan for the carriage works site, plus Forward Swindon have their own feasibility study into the Mechanics'. The latter was missed out of the Adver piece.

The track record of the Trust is patchy at a very generous best :

- Bakers Arms. Given to the Trust after closing in 2012. Still closed.

- Central Community Centre. Given to the Trust from SBC. According to news provided by an independent source (that independent source being, erm, the Mechanics' Trust), it's being run well.

- The Old Railway Cottage. Given to the Trust from SBC. Opened a handful of times, but no prospect of opening regularly.

- An allotment plot. Given to the Trust (along with the purchase of new tools). Has been overgrown ever since.

- A People's Lottery-funded development officer who left part way through his tenure due to creative differences.

On top of this, the Trust want to be given :

The Health Hydro.

The old Railway Museum.

The Cricketers Pub.

Plus they want £50,000 to put together a business plan for their plan for the Mechanics' building.

Do we trust the Trust?

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 356

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. Clinton should do it again.

9. Put it away, everyone does not want to see that.

8. They were getting dirtier than was reasonable.

7. She's round mine, no, not yours, 'cos if she was at yours, she wouldn't be round mind.

6. Chaos is so massively overused.

5. It's just chicken with a fur coat on.

4. They say their priority is to the shareholders, which it always has been.

3. It doesn't mean anything if she doesn't leave him.

2. What's that sound this morning, is someone running an electric saw?

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Let's try something new, you not lying to my face.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 355

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. If you get this wrong everyone will blame you.

9. There's not enough solicitors in the world to stop it.

8. It's coming right towards you, look.

7. Personally Sarah has had her chips lots of times.

6. I'm not a medical professional you know.

5. No they're playing at home after the shambles of last time.

4. Just get it done and choose the bulgar wheat.

3. He's not elected, he's a lazy tosser.

2. It got sold, to Stagecoach I think.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. Keep thinking you're as good looking as you believe and we'll all pretend to go along with it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 354

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. They're going to sell them and convert them into shops.

9. He spent 15 minutes reading out loud the email he'd written making sure it sounded okay.

8. Oh babes, I really don't care.

7. Some things are best left unsaid.

6. She keeps all her packets and tins in alphabetical order.

5. He thought that there was an East Korea.

4. They're selling it today, so sad, they should have let them do a management buy out in the 1980s like they asked.

3. No, there's a burst pipe, you'll have to go right round past the roundabout.

2. That exposes the whole thing of how you communicate enthusiasm.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I drink goats milk, but only on a Thursday.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Thursday, February 02, 2017

Thamesdown Sold - Go Ahead and dump Dayriders & Travelpasses?

The deafening silence from Swindon Borough Council on the sale of Thamesdown Transport was bound to break and it has. The company has, or is about to be today or tomorrow, sold to the Go-Ahead Group

It's a pretty poor show on SBC's part, as it essentially means SBC staff (but at arms length as Thamesdown), have been caught up in a quick sale to the private sector.

Go-Ahead are far better than some of the other big national bus companies, with a history of keeping local company names (will Thamesdown live on?).

But nothing, not a whisper, has been made to the most important people in all of this, the passengers.

Firm assurances are now needed from SBC and Go Ahead on whether DayRiders and TravelPasses will remain inter-available.

Otherwise, SBC may have just doubled the price (at the least) of bus travel for the poorest in Swindon on top of the loss of routes due to SBC cutting investment/subsidies in social necessary services.

Lets hope they didn't use the words 'innovate ' and 'vibrant' in the discussions with Go-Ahead, otherwise we are all doomed.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

New Swindon Parish can't set it's tax level as Borough gives it wrong numbers

Yes, that's right, as if the Swindon Rotten Parishes story couldn't get worse, Chris Humphreys reports a new gem.

The new Central Swindon North Parish will not be able to set it's parish precept by the Swindon Borough Council deadline due to SBC providing it with incorrect information.

This can only be the tip of the iceberg, especially as the Borough needs to provide as vast amount of information to all the new and existing parishes as services are foisted upon them. The Borough also need to provided them each with an asset transfer register, now considering that the department that is due to carry out this work is due to be slashed to two officers in the near future, well, you can imagine, it'a almost as if the parishes are being set up to fail.

Surely not?

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last (Last) Week ; 353

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. How will it be divided up?

9. None of this is your fault you know?

8. He got trapped and I had to grab his legs.

7. It's meant to happen in three months if you're to believe the packet.

6. They want to wrestle control of the board of directors then they can sell it.

5. It sounds just marvellous.

4. You heard about this, it was all the man who visited from Birmingham was brought up for?

3. There were loads of charred bits so I had to cover it with the gravy.

2. I only knew him for two weeks, but he thinks I'm his best mate.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I was going to apply for a visa but I'm thinking twice and reckon on New Zealand instead.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Throwing Employees Under the Bus

Swindon Centric has just learnt that the employee conditions for the rumoured buyer for Swindon's Thamesdown Transport are markedly worse than those that currently apply.

These include less than 20 days holiday a year, reduced sick pay and less tolerance of employees who may have recurring sickness.

If Thamesdown is to be sold, then, what you can consider a Swindon Borough Council 'arms length' company, will see it's 'arms length' Council employees given worse conditions than presently enjoyed.

And as for the future of service quality to passengers, will multi-operator tickets (DayRiders and TravelPasses), got the same way.

Still no comment from SBC or Thamesdown on the rumours of a sale.

Friday, January 20, 2017

Feckless & Cowardly Conservative Councillors Hang Parishes Out To Die

There's an awful lot of skulking happening around Swindon's Civic Offices at present and with good reason.

The biggest transfer of power at local government level in Swindon since the creation of the Borough in 1997 is currently afoot with the foisting upon of Borough responsibilities to current parishes and the newly (yet to properly be created) ones.

As a result of this, there's a scramble to set the parish precept (the amount with the annual council tax bill that covers the services carried out by the parish within your area) with all these newly foisted upon services suddenly having to be taken into account. This is quite a shock administratively and politically as many simply cut the grass until recently.

Haydon Wick has voted a 50% increase in tax.

Stratton has voted a 27% increase in tax.

Wroughton has voted a 16.5% increase for a band D property.

Meanwhile the Borough Council has not raised council tax in Swindon since 2007, teetered on the brink of service-provision oblivion, dumped said services into the laps of parishes (and where they've not existed, just forced their undemocratic creation), and seen them have no choice but to raise tax to eye-watering levels.

Other authorities have and are doing it differently. Surrey County Council is proposing a 15% council tax increase, it, like Swindon, is Conservative-run and has had enough of government nationally sticking it's fingers in it's ears and thinking if it can't hear, everything's fine.

Swindon Borough Council's ruling Tories have done nothing of the sort, they have axed, cut and closed services while they could have been lobbying parliament nationally with the help of their Conservative MPs and putting their heads above the parapet and fighting for the people of Swindon.

But they've not. They've done nothing.

Swindon Borough Council's Conservatives are feckless, cowardly and irresponsible with the future of the Borough.

But I'm sure in the next financial year those three talents will be devolved to parishes.

Welcome to the Rotten Borough (now with 50% more parish for 50% more money).


Sunday, January 15, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 352

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. If you'd broken your leg you couldn't have walked the half a mile here.

9. No mate, I'm ugly, I'm much older than my years by bad luck, pure and simple.

8. He'll nip Jayden, she better watch out, but Sarah's got a staffie and he doesn't do that.

7. You're laughing at me, I can hear it.

6. I don't think this goes to the Link Centre.

5. He owes me 80 quid, I'm sure he'll pay me back when he gets out.

4. I have no idea what a Segway is.

3. Just because you don't believe in it, doesn't mean it's not true.

2. It's really hurting now, if it's worse tomorrow I'm going to the hospital.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. She doesn't get out of bed, I mean, I'm lazy, I spend the whole the day in bed, but not like that.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Monday, January 09, 2017

Council hides houses behind GLL in Hydro hoopla

Turns out that GLL discussed the idea of turning the Health Hydro at Milton Road into flats with Swindon Borough Council before announcing it.

SBC suggested they float the idea and see how it's received while GLL received the wrath, SBC hurried a minimum safe distance away from the explosion.

They clearly didn't reckon on GLL being so narked at the bad publicity, they'd just freely talk about how it came about.

Whoops, looks like SBC's been dropped heavily in the deep end (of the main pool of course).

Sunday, January 08, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 351

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. There were three desserts and I tried all three.

9. No he goes left, right, straight on and back round to the main road.

8. I've never expected less of you.

7. She kept jabbering on about his drinking and I couldn't stand it.

6. No, it's the one in your other hand.

5. Keep guessing, but I'm not telling you how much I paid.

4. Sue said it was all a con whilst he was away with his kids.

3. It can be rented out, but he's leaving it empty for now.

2. No parking, can't you read, it's the whole street.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. No, that bus is being gotten rid of to pay for brexit.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Top Ten Things Overheard On Swindon's Buses Last Week ; 350

Click here for the original at this brilliant idea, here's our own version for Swindon's buses from last week.

10. It'll go all the way to the hospital now, for better or worse.

9. The year was good for me, I got new shoes.

8. Typically it's 4 to 5 percent with no guarantee that he'll be able to sell it all.

7. I've got it all in the cupboard in the spare room, if there's a fire, we're all doomed.

6. Performance is really good when you get past all the apps and rubbish.

5. That drink was what my Mum was drinking in the 90s!

4. She refused to talk to me all Christmas, I just got bladdered and shouted at her.

3. He rebelled, they all got shot and that was the end, I'm not watching the next series.

2. I'm going to get active and walk a lot more, or just a little.

And the number one overheard phrase on Swindon's buses from last week is...

1. I could not believe the crap she was saying to me and I didn't understand it.

Overheard something we've missed? Then let us know.